Let us not forget these selfless tubs of goo, these human shields whose sole purpose was to make already brave and handsome men seem braver and... uh, handsomer. With the recent announcement of the new Young Justice cartoon, there's too great a risk of these stalwart fat guys being forgotten. Can you live with that? Can you honestly wake up in the morning, look yourself in the mirror, and be proud that you live in a world without Doiby Dickles? I know I can't. I can't do that at all! Think about it, won't you? Because this country is built upon the fat and stupid, and if they are phased out in the fictional world, what will happen to us slobs in the real world? At the very least, green turtlenecks, bowties, and outdated haberdashery will only be worn by outlaws.
Because comics don't have enough Andy Rooney look-a-likes.