Sunday, February 6, 2011

Are you ready for some football?

Today is SuperBowl Sunday, and I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon with a special post. I thought we'd take a look at NFL SuperPro!

Many others have written in depth about this mook; I'm just going to talk about the covers. However, here's everything you need to know. Anyway, let's get this game on!

See, he doesn't just fight crime, he TACKLES it. Because he's a football player. I wish there were more pro wrestler superheroes, so they could have a tagline like "He suplexes crime!" or "He's got injustice in a headlock!"

So this is where White Wolf got the idea for the opening fiction for their Street Fighter rpg.

Confession time- I actually bought this issue when I was a lad. It was the 90's, we all made mistakes. I believe I may have thought that Instant Replay there was related to Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe. Anyway, he "walks through time", which is something that we all do when you think about it.

Soo... he's playing in Detroit?

The Blimp of Doom (sponsored by Geico).

This issue got Marvel in trouble with the Hopi Indian Tribe; personally, the bad guys look more like Scooby Doo villains. Regardless, I'm not sure why SuperPro appears to be fighting them on a hockey rink.

First, yay, it's the special "topical issue" issue. Second, if you read the above link, you'll no that the SuperPro costume is supposed to be indestructible; seven issues in and they're already ignoring established continuity. Third, look at that bad guy's costume. The blades on the wrists I understand, but the one's the side seem to serve no purpose. In fact, that's a recipe for trouble. All it takes is one butt scratch for tragedy to strike. "Hmm, let me just get a piece of gum out of my pocket and AAAHHH MY HAND WHY DID I PUT A GIANT SAWBLADE THERE?!?"

Look at Cap; he looks pissed to be guest-starring here. "Damn contractual obligations; this is as bad as that time with the Campbell Soup Kids."

I like how there's that one Replay above the logo who appears to have lost the lower portion of his body to the vagaries of the space-time continuum.

"Baseball? I f***ing hate baseball! Watch football, dammint!!!"

I realized that this cover isn't going to make a lot of sense to my younger readers. Heck, some of the people who should know what it's in reference to have probably forgotten. Suffice to say, it'd be like if someone made a cover parodying a commercial and then you look at that cover 20 years later.

Is that fire, or sand? Why does Pro have a baseball bat? These and other questions must remain unanswered, as this is the LAST issue. There was no overtime for SuperPro, and Marvel benched him forever more.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys the game tonight. It's my sincere wish that both teams try their best and enjoy themselves; that way, EVERYONE wins. Failing that, GO STEELERS.

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