Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Comics versus Pundits- Who Will Win?

Comics can do many things. They can bring us tales of adventure that excite the imagination. They can provide us with morality tales, illustrating (quite literally) the foibles and follies of human nature. They can even show us that every single woman in the history of mankind was/is/will-be a prostitute with a heart of gold (thank, Frank Miller!). But, can comics prove that someone is more full of crap than a clogged up septic system? Yes!

Apparently, Glenn Beck has written a book, The Overton Window. Judging from the early reviews, Beck has done for political thrillers what Stephanie Myers has done for vampire novels. Yes, I realize that some people will read that statement and say, "Ooh! That must mean it's good!" I'll leave you to make your own decision on that matter.

The Overton Window is described by Beck himself as " 'faction' -- completely fictional books with plots rooted in fact." The novel revolves around Noah Gardner, a John Everyman type character (provided that every man holds the same values Beck does) who discovers an insidious plot to rob America of it's civil liberties. What's worse is that this plot is masterminded by Noah's own father! Gasp!

To use the Washington Post's description, Arthur Gardner is " a public relations genius who devised the Pet Rock fad, turned Mao and Che into counterculture fashion statements, created faux ailments such as restless leg syndrome for the drug industry and lifted several presidents to the White House regardless of party affiliation."

Arthur Gardner, The Overton Window's chillingly nuanced (and factual!) antagonist.

Truly, Arthur has an evil plot worthy of Dr. Doom himself. Yet little does the Author of The Overton Window realize that he's given his book an Achille's Heel that will allow me to topple his house of cards like a ton of bricks will simultaneously using more mixed metaphors than a barrel of monkeys that are rocking the boat.

Everything seems incredibly factual. However, Glenn Beck didn't take into account that I have read DC's Big Book of the 70's, from their Paradox Press imprint. In said book, there's a section on pet rocks. The creator was not Arthur Gardner, as Beck would have us believe, but one Gary Dahl!

I have hereby proven that Beck's "faction" is nothing of the sort! And without even reading his book, no less!If Beck can't even managed to double-check something as trivial and insignificant as the inventor of the pet rock, how can he be trusted to be accurate (or truthful) about his larger allegations? The calm, rational answer is- HE CAN'T! Whether by accident or design, Beck spews forth a torrent of misinformation like a garbage disposal in reverse!

Now, I'm sure some of you think this is over the top. "But wait," you say, "Beck merely modified some facts to make his story work." Think about that- he changes facts so that they ultimately work for the vision he's trying to sell.

Using the latest in blog technology, I can capture Glenn Beck's reaction to my searing expose in REAL TIME. Here it is!

The score? Comics-1. Glenn Beck-0!

Now, I have exposed his novel as wrong. From what little I've read, the prose is ham-fisted, too, and by that I mean he no doubt used his fists to shovel large portions of ham down his gullet in between paragraphs. He has nothing left to console himself except for his $32 million a year career and his legions of misguided fans. I hope that's enough for him.

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