"Hello! My name is David, Boy King and Monarch of Swisslakia, and I have an interesting proposal. When my homeland was overrun by Nazis, I was forced to abdicate my throne and relocate my people to America. In our exodus, we left behind large amounts of money and national treasures. While searching for a way to reinstate my government, I became a mystery man and superheroe with the help of my stone giant named Giant and my magic sword. Unfortunately, I was trapped inside a magic urn along with several other young heroes for sixty years thanks to naughty action taken by a man called the Fighting Yank."
Seriously, don't leave the Fighting Yank alone with your kids.
"Now, I have escaped my entrapment and find myself in this new era. Not only have I found new technologies and social mores, but also good news regarding Swisslakia's assets! Recent legislation passed by the European Union allows my people to reclaim our monetary heritage. Unfortunately, as an official of Swisslakia and a superhero, I am legally barred from filing the necessary paperwork. However, my magic sword, which is totally magic and not made up, provided me with the e-mail address of a
gullible civic-minded individual with a desire for both monetary gain and help for a foreign nation.
"By mailing a check for $3,ooo for the necessary notarization, you can aid Swisslakia in retaining her birthright. In return, I have authorized my parliament to deposit $1.5 million in your account once the process has been completed. I look forward to your assistance in this endeavor and eagerly await your reply!"
As I was writing out the check, I realized this was probably a scam. Swisslakia doesn't even show up on Google maps! Other aspects of his story probably don't make sense either. I quickly moved the e-mail to my junk mail and was prepared to make a sandwich when I recieved another email from another Project Superpowers character....
"Hey, remember me? It's Katie! We used to talk on AIM, remember?"
Her handle was TeenTabby69.
"Anyway, I don't use AIM much anymore; I've got a new website! You should stop bi if you wanna chat. I have a webcam and sometimes I get a little naughty. MEOW! lol. You should totally come visit and I'll give you a private show. THe site will ask for your credit card number, but that's just for age verification purposes. Hope 2 C U soon! TTYL!"
I've got a good feeling about this one.