Saturday, November 26, 2011

Turkey Day Part 9- It Conquered the World (with Snow Thrills)

As we all recover from our food coma, here's another Turkey Day installment- It Conquered the World! I like this episode, so much so that I've talked about it before, running the classic Peter Graves monologue through the Bad Translator. You know the one I'm talking about; it goes a little something like...



He learned almost too late that Man is a feeling creature and, because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection, they find only death, fire, loss, disillusionment, the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.

Powerful stuff. But, before we get to that, let's start off with the short. The Sport Parade: Snow Thrills showcases all kinds of winter shenanigans, from ice skating to skiing (though the film insists on the German pronunciation) to... uh... skinny dipping. The riffing gets really dark and a bit saucy. It's fun, but for some reason, I never remember to include it when I compile a list of the best shorts they've done. The sketch they do about it is good fun though.

Now comes Roger Corman's It Conquered The World. Lee Van Cleef is a scientist who's protesting the launch of a satellite for some reason that's never adequately explained, something about pissing off aliens. His buddy, Peter Graves, is the lead scientist for the project. Flash forward two months later, and the satellite mysteriously disappears, reappears, and then crashes. Peter is concerned, but Lee is smug. Why so smug? Because Lee is in communication with the giant Venusian space pickle that hijacked the satellite so it could come to Earth.

Lee thinks that Space Pickle is there to help humanity, but Peter and Lee's wife Beverly Garland (rrroooawwr!) aren't so sure. Space Pickle sends out mind control devices to convert various humans so it can conquer a small town in the southwest. (Think globally, act locally, after all.) Peter Graves shoots his mind controlled wife, Beverly Garland dies trying to kill the Space Pickle. Peter and Lee join up with a roving military unit and face the Space Pickle.

In the end, Lee sacrifices himself to save the world. Why? Well... He learned almost too late that Man is a feeling creature and, because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection, they find only death, fire, loss, disillusionment, the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.

The riffing is great in this one, but Corman films tend to bring out the best in the crew. The middle sketch wherein Joel and the Bots have dinner and make a series of sarcastic jabs at each other is hilarious; they channel their inner Lockhorns quite well. Of course, even with the short film preceding It Conquered the World, they still need to pad out the episode thanks to Corman's habit of not making very long movies. (Say what you will about his films, you have to grant that the man is a concise filmmaker.) Which is why Peter Grave's speech is repeated twice, word for word in the last sketch. You know the one.

He learned almost too late that Man is a feeling creature and, because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection, they find only death, fire, loss, disillusionment, the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.

All told, the speech is repeated three times throughout the episode, with the first line also composing the episode's stinger. It's a fun episode.

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