Saturday, April 3, 2010

The Abyss Stares Into Thee: DC's Adventures of Jerry Lewis Part 2


And now, it's time to continue with my searing expose of Jerry Lewis covers. After perusing the... "jokes", I guess you'd call them, you'll no doubt find the ultra-lined, grimacing, bepouched figure of a typical Rob Liefeld cover soothing balm by comparison. Here we go!


Ah, comics, providing racial stereotypes and cheap laughs for the benefit of affluent white Americans for decades. Also, check out Jerry's date- he's making time with Daphne from Scooby-Doo! Either she's moonlighting, or else Mystery Inc. thinks that Jerry is some sort of dangerous felon disguised as a horrific spectre and she's going undercover to bring him down.

I alluded to it in my previous blog entry's joke about hentai, but The Adventures of Jerry Lewis really seemed to be ahead of its time, as it is embracing manga tropes and models before manga had even come up with them. Here, Jerry appears to be the star of a harem manga. Harem mangas are characterized by a bumbling male lead who is constantly courted by a bevy of attractive female suitors. For good measure, Jerry randomly has magic powers in this one, which will no doubt lead to zany hijinx!!!






I found this image to be deeply unsettling; see if you can't figure out why. Ignore the awkward nursery rhyme reference and focus on the details here for a moment. Note the lack of motion lines surrounding the young lady, whereas Jerry and the baker have motion lines aplenty. Notice how she's not actually paying attention to anything that's actually happening in the scene. If you're anything like me, you'll come to the startling realization that SHE'S DEAD!!! Now, you might be saying, "Maybe she's just a mannequinn or cardbord standee or something?" I scoff at that. A far more outlandish, and therefore plausible, scenario is that Chef McKillspree over there drugged that poor girl, coated her in a sugary glaze or some sort of translucent candy coating, and baked her into a cake! I'm almost positive I've seen a Tales From the Crypt like that. And all of this in a Code-Approved comic too! Jerry's obviously the next victim, as he'll get brained over the head with a rolling pin and turned into a pan of delicious buttery croissants (because the French love both Jerry Lewis and croissants). It's like if TLC's Cake Boss were made into a movie directed by Rob Zombie. Scary stuff.



It's PLANE to see that Jerry's very foolish here!!!

...I'm sorry, these covers are starting to get to me.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Lessons in Pain: DC's Adventures of Jerry Lewis Part One

Sometimes, perusing old comic book covers are awesome. Other times, it leads to naught but heartbreak and sorrow. The Adventures of Jerry Lewis falls squarely into the latter category.

The title started out as The Adventures of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, but, following the comedy team's breakup, the series focused solely on Jerry with issue #41. Here's an example of a typical Martin & Lewis cover....




The Adventures of Jerry Lewis would go on with Jerry as the solo star until it's cancellation with issue #124. That's over 80 issues, or 7 years worth, of Jerry. When you count the issues with Dean, that's a decade of Jerry. To put things in perspective, that's longer than the run of Garth Ennis's Preacher series.

Of those 80+ issues, you'd be hard pressed to find one that doesn't make you die a little inside. Periodically, I'll post some of the best(?) of these. Be warned: these covers hurt me very deeply, and I was only looking at the covers. If for whatever reason you were to buy these and read them, I accept no responsibility for the madness that would most likely ensue.

This cover starts a formula that would be followed for the next 2-3 years. Hot chick? Check. Implausible scenario (aside from Jerry making time with aforementioned hot chick)? Check. Bad joke? CHECK.

First, please note the guard is about to whack Jerry in the noggin with a rolling pin; this is known as the "Wilma Flinstone Maneuver". Second, check out the skin tone of the princess. Appears someone needs a new tanning salon...

And finally for this installment, allow me to present Jerry's first, tentative foray into Japanese hentai.












That's all for now. I'll do more of these when I feel too much joy in my life and need to be reminded of the harsh, stark terror that is existence.

Racial Sensitivity via Superman Comics?



What you see there is one of the most insane covers from Superman's Girlfriend, Lois Lane. Granted, Lois Lane covers were never known for making sense, but this one, with its ham-fisted approach to topical issues, stands out.

Others have written about the story within Lois Lane #106 (by the way, the number one related search on Ask.com for Lois Lane #106 is "Lois Lane tied to a chair") but the thing that really gets me about this cover is the fact that Superman has a device that can turn white people into black people, or vice versa. One asssumes that it's either one of the many pieces of assorted Kryptonian bric-a-brac that has made it's way to Earth over the years or it's something that Superman built when he could've been preventing earthquakes or curing world hunger. Either way, why on Earth would you have a machine like that?

If it's something that Superman built, then it makes no sense. One might argue that it's so he can disguise himself, which is ridiculous. Superman's cunning Clark Kent persona consists of glasses and nothing else, AND IT WORKS CONSTANTLY. Also, it's not like he'd ever need to go undercover. There's few things he could learn incognito that he couldn't learn via a judicious application of x-ray vision and super-hearing.

That leaves it being a device from Krypton, most likely invented for the same reason that it's used in this story, to promote racial sensitivity. When thinking about that, however, I came to realize that this didn't make sense either, because there are no black Kryptonians. I mean, when was the last time you saw a flashback to Krypton that didn't look like a science-fiction version of the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog? Never, that's when!

Then it dawned on me- the white populace on Krypton used this on everyone else in a bid for Kryptonian racial supremacy. No doubt bands of Ku Klux Kryptonians were riding out, rounding up everyone who didn't fit Jor-El's insane vision of a model society. It's scary stuff when you think about it. It makes the destruction of Krypton seem less a freak accident than the just act of an angry and vengeful god. In fact, go to Hell, Krypton!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Comics 101

While attending college, I have had a few professors that have given assignments in which the topic is broad; if it relates to the subject matter at hand, we can write about it. I then take the opportunity to write about comics as it relates to that class’s area of study, and the professors have been cool about it, because they are absolutely awesome. I’ve written about Supergirl and Wonder Woman for my feminism class, western comics for my American Frontiers class, and submitted a power point about American depictions of Nazis in comics during WWII for a class about the history of American foreign policy. What’s even cooler than that is that I’ve usually received good grades on those papers.
The one drawback, of course, is finding scholarly essays relating to those topics. A lot of the material comes from my own memory or my private collection. Actually finding a peer-reviewed article discussing is a task bordering on the Herculean. For example, it seems academics just don’t plain write about Supergirl. Hmmph! As if there’s no scholarly merit to a girl in a mini-skirt who flies around shooting lasers out of her eyes!
Once my fit of pique over such an omission passed, I began to seriously consider the question: why isn’t there a body of criticism about comics? Certainly, there is a lot on the history of comics, but they tend to paint trends in a very broad fashion; specific stories are hardly analyzed. Similarly, there’s “The Science of Superheroes”, but again, that focuses more on how science is utilized in a particular story; it’s more an example of how to relate science in pop-culture terms to those crazy kids. Finally, there are many, many well-written essays found in blogs and online articles, but these tend not to be respected sources.
Again, I come to why? Why isn’t there a larger body of literary-style criticism as it relates to comics? Maybe because comics are seen as “kids stuff”. Even ignoring the many times history proved that untrue, that there were adult readers of comics who took them seriously (such as the Fifth Columnists who sent death threats to Joe Simon and Jack Kirby for daring to portray Captain America humiliating Hitler), does anybody really consider comics as just for kids anymore? After all, adults tend to make up the large majority of the industry’s target demographics.
Also, with the critical reception of graphic novels such as The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen (which was named one of Time Magazine’s 100 Greatest Novels), not to mention films like Christopher Nolan’s Batman films or Iron Man, you would think that academics would say “Hmm… There’s some value here.”
Maybe the problem stems from a lack of primary sources. While I certainly have a lot of comics, I assume it’s safe to say that Professor Stuffy-Pompous in the English department does not. And thanks to the direct market, you can’t find comics at newsstands. You can only find comics at comic stores which, thanks to changing technological, social, and economic trends, often wind up going out of business.
To this I say hogwash! (Granted, I usually try to work in the word “hogwash” once a day, but still, I find it appropriate here.) First, thanks to the rise in popularity of trade paperbacks and collected editions, comics are slowly but surely filtering back into bookstores. Naturally, the stock can vary from store to store, but generally, you can find a few shelves dedicated to them. Also, thanks to the internet, you can now buy current and past issues without ever leaving your house. Those comic stores that not only continue to stay in business but thrive have set themselves up so you can order comics via their website and they ship them to you, usually for a reasonable cost. And then there’s Amazon.com. If there’s anything you can’t find on Amazon, then I haven’t found it. Of course, that statement doesn’t make sense when you think about it, but there’s a lot of stuff on Amazon regardless. And, free shipping on orders over $25! As a cheap bastard, I approve.
And those options just cover print comics. Both Marvel and DC (and presumably other smaller publishers) offer electronic versions of comics for download. Moreover, many comics from years gone buy (primarily the Golden Age) have lapsed into public domain, and many fans have seen fit to post these online. This being the internet, there are those who see fit to post copyrighted material from current publishers online as well, but what can you do.
So, maybe the reluctance just comes down to bias. Comics are not seen to deliver the same kind of message that novels or other literary works do. Comics are certainly not the only victims of this kind of bias. Video games have struggled to prove themselves as an art form, trying to deliver powerful narratives while still allowing for a degree of interactivity, no mean feat. And yet, despite the strides they’ve made, guys like Roger Ebert are still dismissive of them. What Mr. Ebert fails to mention, however, is that the field of respected film criticism is itself relatively recent. It wasn’t until the 1970’s, with works such as Laura Mulvey’s “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema”, that film criticism really was taken seriously, and even then, I doubt there it would have taken off as a field of study if not for the home video market boom. Today, many campuses offer Film Studies course. In fact, I just read an essay discussing Keanu Reeves’ film career, and in one part a critical analysis of Point Break was offered, which you may remember as the movie in which Keanu’s hotshot FBI agent is tasked with bringing down Patrick Swayze’s ring of diabolical bank-robbing surfers. The truly amazing thing is not that the author took a film like friggin’ Point Break seriously, it’s that he had citations and quotes from other sources. Let that sink in for a moment- there’s enough of a body of criticism about the film Point Break, a film in which one of the main plot points is Keanu and Swayze skydiving, to write a long scholarly paper.
Maybe it’s the fan mentality that keeps comics from being more respectable. Let’s be honest guys and girls (mostly guys, quite frankly)- we don’t make it easy for outsiders to come in. I’d call The Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy an ugly stereotype if it wasn’t so goddamned accurate. He’s large, shabby, condescending, and has no real goals outside of his hobbies. Certainly, that’s the minority, but all it takes is a few CBGs to make the rest of us fans look bad.
So, what’s the answer? Unless one were to start their own college (with blackjack! And hookers!) where Comic Studies was offered as a field of study, I’m not sure there is one. We can hope that good movies about comics get made, and that fans continue to provide critical insights about comics via forums at their disposal, but otherwise, it’s a field in which respect, if it comes at all, will be a long time in coming.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Justice League: New Frontier- A Review!

Justice League: New Frontier continues the Bruce Timm-produced series of DC animated features. Based on the Elseworlds series by Darwyn Cooke (which I sadly haven‘t read yet), New Frontier bridges the gap between the Golden Age of the 1940s and the Silver Age of the 1960s. The plot mostly revolves around the origins of Green Lantern Hal Jordan and J’onn J’onnz, the Martian Manhunter, with numerous subplots and characters woven in. I could give you a more detailed plot synopsis, but honestly, there’s just SO much going on in this movie, there wouldn’t be much point.
For the most part, New Frontier is a very character driven piece. It focuses more on who these heroes are and why they do what they do. There aren’t many big action scenes until the last 20 minutes or so, but when the action comes, it comes hard. Basically, imagine if Independence Day had Batman and Green Arrow and the Blackhawks dog fighting against pterodactyls, and if that doesn’t sound like a vast improvement over the actual Independence Day, then I’m explaining it wrong.
The animation style is very crisp and has a nice retro flavor. It’s a careful blend of what Bruce Timm has done before mixed with Darwyn Cooke’s unique style. Overall, it gives a nice visual flair; I imagine it’s what a Max Fleischer cartoon would look like if he had access to modern animation techniques.
The film has a large cast of impressive voice talents, and they all deliver. You have David Boreanaz as Hal Jordan, and he… basically sounds like David Boreanaz. Not that that’s bad, mind you, but David has a very distinctive voice; he just dials up the brooding quality accordingly for each role. In Kingdom Hearts, he was at about 5; in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, he’d get up to about 7 or 8. Here, he’s at about 2 on the brooding scale, with a bit of wistfulness thrown in for good measure.
Miguel Ferrer is the film’s other lead voice as J’onn J’onnz, and he does a solid job. We also have Kyle Machlachlan, Jeremy Sisto, and Lucy Lawless as the Big Three (Supes, Bats, and Wonder Woman, respectively), and they all deliver in spades. And, of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Neil Patrick Harris as the Flash, who’s pretty much just wonderful in anything.
The only criticism I have concerns the pace of the piece. While the story is supposed to take place over the course of seven years, it feels more like it happens during one hectic holiday weekend. The first few scenes start by stating the year, but they drop this. And then suddenly, it's 1960. I mean, honestly, how hard is it to throw up a caption every 10 minutes or so?
Overall, New Frontier is a tremendous leap forward from Superman/ Doomsday. It has pretty much everything you’d want in a superhero story: characterization, intrigue, and a big ass action sequence. I highly recommend this to everybody.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Superman/ Doomsday: A review!

Well, Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths is out, and while I haven’t seen it yet I do plan to. Once I do, rest assured that I will review it for my blog. In the meantime, however, I’ve decided to review some of the previous DC animated DVDs to whet the appetite. The format will be as follows- I’ll do a brief synopsis of the plot, followed by some overall details on what I found good and bad.

The first DC animated feature I’ll review also happens to be the first one they did- Superman/Doomsday. For those of you who read any of the Death of Superman and its various follow-ups, you can probably guess the plot. For the rest of you, here goes. Doomsday, unstoppable Kryptonian killing machine shows up in Metropolis. He and Superman fight, resulting in both their deaths. That is essentially the first twenty minutes of the film. I should point out that Doomsday never appears again throughout the rest of the film. In a film that’s roughly 70 minutes, one of two title characters shows up for less than a third of the movie, and not even the END of the movie. Yikes.

We move on to see how everyone reacts to a world without a Superman. Ma Kent cries, Jimmy Olsen becomes a douche bag, a Perry White starts hitting the bottle. To be fair, that last one had me surprised. I would’ve thought Perry would’ve been drinking WELL before. This is what I imagine a typical day at the Daily Planet to be like….

Perry: Where the hell’s my staff?
Assistant: Lois has been kidnapped by the giant robot that Superman was fighting, Clark said he needed to inspect the janitor’s closet and hasn’t been seen since, and Jimmy’s been turned into a werewolf. Again.
Perry: Oh.
Asst: Also, the Planet logo on the top of the building’s been destroyed. Again.
Perry: Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with a senior staff member. *The assistant leaves. Perry opens a drawer and removes a bottle.* Oh, Jack Daniels, you’re the only one here I can count on. And you NEVER call me chief… *GLUG-GLUG-GLUG*

Anyway, this goes on for about ten minutes. The world mourning Superman, not Perry drinking, I mean. Anyway, Lois gets in trouble, and Superman shows up to save her! Yay, he’s back… OR IS HE?!?!? The answer is no. No he’s not. That’s a clone of Superman under the control of Lex Luthor.

Clone Supes breaks free of Luthor’s control, and starts acting like a facist. The real Superman shows up, big fight happens, the real Superman wins. Yay.

This film has an impressive array of voice talents. When I heard that Adam Baldwin was going to be Superman, I had a little shiver of nerd-joy. However, something about his performance never seems to gel. His Superman justs seems… tired. That is, when he’s playing normal Superman. Adam Baldwin as crazy creepy fascist Superman is awesome.
Anne Heche portrays Lois Lane, and she’s surprisingly not bad. However, the voice actor who really steals the show is James Marsters as Lex Luthor. OH MY GOD. He’s no Clancy Brown, mind you, but DAYUM, is his Lex all kinds of creepy and maniacal. It certainly helps that the writers gave Lex most of the really good dialogue.

The art style isn’t bad. They wanted it to look different from Superman: The Animated Series, and it does, but it doesn’t look different ENOUGH. It’s like they were trying to hedge their bets.

Also of note is the fact that this movie, like the rest of the DC animated features released thus far, is PG-13. Which means there is much more blood and stuff than you'd expect from a superhero cartoon. It doesn't reach Die Hard levels, certainly, but it is disconcerting to see the Man of Steel vomiting blood or Lex Luthor shooting someone in the head the first time around. I was watching and said, "Can they... can they DO that in a Superman cartoon?" It's an interesting change, to say the least.

Overall, this was Bruce Timm and company’s first attempt at doing a full-length, stand alone animated feature, and it really shows. They tried to do an original spin on an existing story, and they didn’t quite nail it (as they would later do with Wonder Woman and Green Lantern: First Flight). I think a more faithful adaptation (or at least as faithful as you could get, considering how goddamned long the whole Death and Return of Superman story wound up being in the comics), along the lines of what they did with Justice League: New Frontier, would have served the creative team better. Superman/ Doomsday isn’t bad, but it doesn’t come near the quality of either the best episodes of Timm’s previous animated series nor the animated features they would deliver down the line.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Guess what I did?

Wow, Christmas break lasted a lot longer than I thought it would. Sorry ‘bout that. Anyway, last week I did something I haven’t done in a long while: I bought some comics. While a fan of comics, the current state of the market, namely both DC and Marvel opting to publish one continuous never-ending crossover, has led me to stop buying on a regular basis. I still pick up trade paperbacks on occasion, and I bought every issue of Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers, but other than that, I’ve been strong. Until last week.
I was at the comic store, and a few titles struck my eye: JSA All-Stars #’s 1 & 2, Blackest Night: The Flash #’s 1 & 2, and Starman #81.
The new JSA comic I bought because I love JSA and thought the new line-up looked interesting. Or, rather, Power Girl, Stargirl, Damage, and Cyclone are interesting. As far as the rest goes… I still have no idea why Magog is in the JSA; my theory is that DC owes Alex Ross a lot of money and this was the compromise they reached. King Chimera is too new for me to have an opinion on, though I must say, he’s got a dapper costume. I’m am not a fan of the current Hourman; bring back the android from DC One Million already! Judo master (her power is judo!) pretty much falls into the Magog category. Finally, Wildcat II is very, very irritating. Overall, the first two issues had good writing and characterization, though the art wasn’t great. It wasn’t the worst I’ve seen, but I’ve seen better. It’s noticeable because the art throughout the main JSA title has been, for the most part, very good through the years.
I had no intention of buying any Blackest Night titles, partly due to pride. I’m not saying DC ripped anyone off, but they totally ripped me off. A crossover where heroes fight the rising dead written in 2008*? I wants my money!
Anyway, I picked up the Flash books because it promised to feature the Rogues killing zombies, which we really didn’t get a hell of a lot of. Instead we get Barry Allen (blah) as a Blue Lantern (double blah). Barry Allen’s back and Lanterns every color of the rainbow? Shameful. On the plus side, it continues the reunion of the creative team of Geoff Johns and Scott Kolins, who are responsible for what was arguably the best Flash run (no pun intended) ever.
Finally, Starman. This more or less picks up where the series ended years ago with #80. I could give a synopsis, but if you’ve never read Starman (and why the hell not?), you’d just be confused. Suffice it to say, if you have read Starman before, you’ll like this. If not, you’ll be lost, as it draws on not only the Blackest Night nonsense, but 80 plus issues of continuity besides.
While these were all entertaining enough, none swayed me to start buying comics again on a regular basis. That honor shall probably fall to the Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers ongoing series, coming later this year! In the meantime, most of my comic money shall go towards Mutants and Masterminds sourcebooks, so I’m good reading wise.

*In case the link doesn't work, just go here: http://www.urbis.com/media/view/121873/and-the-world-will-never-be-the-same-again-scenes-from-a-comic-book-crossover